Understanding Estonians when they speak English
Text Stewart Johnson Photo Andrei Chertkov
Like the title of this article, sometimes what you understand is not what’s really being said when you have a conversation with Estonians. In any language. Don’t worry, it’s not you. It’s them! It’s definitely them. This is because they have their own unique culture of course, and instead of being confused, just use this guide to learn what they’re really saying.
This article provides a few examples of basic conversations. Once you’ve mastered these examples, you will no longer have any problems speaking with Estonians. The only thing left will be to actually learn their wonderful language. And a hint: it’s not nearly as difficult to learn as Estonians hope it is.
At a hypothetical dinner party that you are hosting, you have an Estonian guest. One by one all the guests compliment your cooking, but the Estonian says nothing. You ask the Estonian how the food is, and they reply, “Normal.” What does this mean? Should you be offended? Test your knowledge of this very common Estonian behavior. Does “Normal” mean:
A: The food is not bad, but nothing special, either;
B: The food is good;
C: The food is not good, but they want to be polite;
D: They think they could make the same dish, but better.
If you chose “B: The food is good”, you are correct! Estonians are often masters of understatement. For Estonians, good food is normal, very good food is likewise very normal, and something deserving of a Michelin star is extremely normal. According to that same logic, good food is also edible.
Later at that same hypothetical dinner, you serve dessert. The Estonian states quite frankly, without being asked, that the dessert is interesting. Does this mean:
A: The dessert is interesting, and they would like to know how you made it;
B: The dessert is good, but they don’t want to hear more about it;
C: The dessert is horrible;
D: The dessert reminds them of an interesting story that they would like to share with everyone at the table.
Obviously answer “D” is incorrect, but if you chose “C: The dessert is horrible”, you are correct! Estonians don’t really like confrontation, but they also like mincing words even less.
Next, let’s say that you’ve learned a few Estonian words, such as “hello”, which is “tere”. You see someone from work at a shopping mall, and say, “Tere” to them. They reply, “Tere”. What do you do next?
A: Walk away without saying anything else;
B: Ask them how they’re doing, because they clearly want to talk;
C: Stand there awkwardly for a moment in silence, before walking away;
D: Pretend there is some emergency that requires your immediate attention in a different shop.
Under no circumstances should you choose answer “B”. “D” is an acceptable answer if you’re from the North American continent and you understand how to correctly behave in this situation, but your own cultural norms won’t allow you to simply say nothing. Answer “C” is technically correct, but no one enjoys it. But if you answered “A: Walk away without saying anything else”, you are correct! The Estonian doesn’t want a conversation, and you understand this, so it’s best to get this unfortunate encounter with a coworker over with as soon as possible.
However, “tere” is a tricky word in Estonian. Saying it once essentially means that the person acknowledges your existence and presence. But if you say it twice, “Tere tere!”, this is a very normal thing to say among friends. Normal because, well, they are happy to see you. If you say “tere” three times to an Estonian, on the other hand, you will lose your job and residence permit.
For our final hypothetical situation, you’ve been dating an Estonian for a few months, or even years. It’s time to pop the question. You ask your Estonian partner to marry you. Your partner replies, “Why?” What does this mean?
A: They want to know if you actually love them;
B: They suspect one of you might be pregnant;
C: They suspect your residence permit is almost over;
D: They’re not opposed to the idea, but they are happy with the current situation.
If you chose “D”, you are correct! However, if you chose answers “A”, “B”, or “C”, you are also correct! Estonians are very pragmatic people. Of course they can experience the emotions of love, passion, and passive-aggressive partnership, but they know that you understand this as well, so they feel there is no need to actually say it out loud.
If you have enjoyed this guide to understanding Estonians when they speak English, you can:
A: Like the post for this article on social media;
B: Share this article on social media;
C: Tell your Estonian friends about this article;
D: Comment that you would like to read more similar guides explaining how to understand Estonians.
If you chose answer “C: Tell your Estonian friends about this article”, you are incorrect! Please re-read the article.
To learn more about this and similar topicsconversation guide Estonian Culture Estonians speaking Estonian
